He was functional for a long time. Up in the morning, off to work, not a drink until he came home. He has passed that point. He's unemployed and depressed. And he drinks. The lives of my stepmother and other adult siblings feel as though they're crumbling. We want to help. We want it to stop. But we cannot stop it. Only he can.
How can you simultaneously adore and despise someone? Such is the life of an adult child of an alcoholic.
You have a lot of courage to say this. It doesn't matter if it is just a whisper. It is a beginning of reclaiming yourself. With the focus on the alcoholic, kids seem to get lost in the shuffle sometimes. When I first admitted that my dad was an alcoholic, I had no idea who I was or what part I was supposed to play outside of that alcoholic family group. Congratulate yourself on your first baby step toward helping yourself. Please, please find an Al-Anon group or an Adult Children of Alcoholics group to help you take the next steps. It can save your life and your sanity. I know how hard it is to break the silence. You are worth doing just that.
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keep writing!!! I wish I had the guts to do the same...
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